If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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