I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
