Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
