this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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