waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
