I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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