Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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