At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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