I wish i was in the wii world.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
