Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
