What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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