Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
