Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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