so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
