its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Everclear isn't food dammit
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
