he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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