How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
