Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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