Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My day in three words: secret purse cake
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
