New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
