the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
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it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
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When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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