I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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