if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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