Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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