I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
