Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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