were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize