who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
