ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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