Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
