Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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