Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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