I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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