Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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