I can tuck mytits in my pants
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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