doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
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I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
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Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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