my mouth tastes like poor choices
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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