i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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