haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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