Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
