I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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