So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
