I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
