the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
