You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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