So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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