sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Cover your peen. We're going out.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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