You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
