you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I don't deserve a penis
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
