he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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