So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
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a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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