I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
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I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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