she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
my shit smells like andre
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
