i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
