Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
