Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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