I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
