sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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