You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Can you repeat that, but with context?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
